The Chatty Cat.

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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 15 Jun 2018, 00:40

Marmaduke bounded up to join Bertie on the bed and settled across his legs.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 15 Jun 2018, 00:42

Bertie scratched him behind the ears and waited for Marmaduke to start talking.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 15 Jun 2018, 09:00

Predictably, for an overweight cat, Marmaduke's first word was "sardines ???" in a questioning tone ...
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 15 Jun 2018, 09:03

"Afterwards," Bertie said firmly,. "I don't keep them in my bed."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 15 Jun 2018, 10:16

"But I do have some bread" Bertie continued, reaching across to the side table [night stand] and grabbing the bun he hadn't finished at dinnertime.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby kylie_koyote » 15 Jun 2018, 11:24

Marmaduke perked up. Bertie held it just out of reach.

"Some more questions first, my furry waterfowl."
"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 15 Jun 2018, 13:10

"Ok" Marmaduke replied "you're de boss, so ask away"
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 15 Jun 2018, 13:39

'Why did you do a runner in the stables?' Bertie asked.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 15 Jun 2018, 23:15

" 'cos I could see I was being watched by some of the other cats, who would be wondering why you were carrying me, without me re-acting badly"
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 15 Jun 2018, 23:17

'You don't want them to know that you're not playing for their team anymore?' Bertie clarified. 'Jolly good. What happens next?'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 15 Jun 2018, 23:27

"I got asked all sorts of penetrating questions, mainly about how your house is inside and which is your favourite room" Marmaduke continued, hoping for another morsel of the bread.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 15 Jun 2018, 23:46

'This is very bad for you, Bertie pointed out, giving the cat a little more bread. 'It will make your tummy swell. Did you tell the truth or lie?'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 15 Jun 2018, 23:52

"A bit of both" Marmaduke confessed, getting up to allow Bertie to do the same.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 15 Jun 2018, 23:54

'Let me know the worst. Will it be the Rev Green in the library with the candlestick?' Bertie asked.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 16 Jun 2018, 00:20

This, however, was beyond Marmaduke's comprehension. He watched as Bertie put on his dressing gown.
"I had to tell them something," He said, "so I told them that you found me on your bed and was very angry with me."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 16 Jun 2018, 00:38

'First thing in the morning, we're going to visit Aunt Griselda,' Bertie told him,'and see about finding you a safe house. Maybe she'll know about the Ides of March.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 16 Jun 2018, 01:04

"Will she have sardines?" Marmaduke asked hopefully.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 16 Jun 2018, 01:08

'Probably,' Bertie said. 'We can take some with us, just in case she doesn't.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 16 Jun 2018, 09:41

"In the meantime, maybe we should both get some blanket drill, my old carrot-top, unless you want to say anything else important ?" Bertie replied
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby tiffinata » 16 Jun 2018, 09:56

Marmaduke made a peculiar sound, a bit like a rusty long-forgotten purr, Bertie thought.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 16 Jun 2018, 11:08

Bertie put some water down, in the unused and clean soap dish (in lieu of a saucer) in case Marmaduke was thirsty - having eaten some quantity of dry bread during their conversation. Marmaduke jumped down and lapped for a time.

They then settled down for the blanket drill ...
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 16 Jun 2018, 14:00

Marmaduke fell asleep quickly, tucked up on Bertie's chest like a miniature Sphinx. It took Bertie longer. He was very aware of how silently a cat could move and felt rather vulnerable for this reason.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 16 Jun 2018, 19:00

Meanwhile, based k at Mount Street, Tibbles was waiting for his chance to escape. Perhaps one of the humans had left a window open? His own humans liked to sleep with a window open little bit. He would have to explore.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 16 Jun 2018, 22:56

Tibbles explored. There was no draught coming from under the door of the one with a similar name to his own. Or from under the door of the one with the Ginger coat. The living room windows had been latched shut by Biggles before he went to bed. Tibbles tried the bathroom. He made a mighty leap into the sink to get close enough to investigate. No matter that all the toothbrushes and razors were clattering down. Tibbles stretched his paws to the window and tried to open it.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 16 Jun 2018, 23:01

He was gratified to see that the latch swung easily open. He was just calculating if he could jump up, open the window with his head and scramble out when he heard a door open and a voice enquire "What was that?"

It came from the bathroom," another voice replied.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 16 Jun 2018, 23:06

Tibbles tried. He really did. But he was not built to be a lithe, adventuresome cat. He was a fat old cat, meant to snooze on knees and contentedly amble round a house. All of the bottles on the windowsill went flying as he attempted to open the window in a panic.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 16 Jun 2018, 23:49

The door was flung wider open and a voice exclaimed "It's that dratted cat. He's broken my shaving mirror. I've a mind to let him get out, but I'd probably never hear the last of it from the Air Commodore. Get his basket, Algy, there's a good chap."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 16 Jun 2018, 23:51

Tibbles scrabbled frantically at the window in a last, desperate attempt to get out. It swung open and he gathered himself for a despairing leap into he knew not what.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 17 Jun 2018, 00:04

He pushed his head downwards out of tge window and tried to pull the rest of himself through with his front paws, his hind ones scrabbling on the window pane, trying to get a purchase. One last heave.....
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby tiffinata » 17 Jun 2018, 00:13

A pair of strong hands caught him about the middle.
'....you cannot flout Nature with impunity. Treat Nature with respect, and she will tolerate you, even encourage you; but treat her with contempt, and your days are numbered.' Hits the Trail
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