The Chatty Cat.

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The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 29 Apr 2018, 15:20

Biggles was sat in Mount Street Gardens enjoying the late spring sunshine on a Saturday afternoon. Small birds were making a racket in the bushes and flowers were blooming in the borders. It was a lovely day. A sleek black and white cat walked to a flagstone in the sunshine and sat, licking its paw and washing its face.

'Hello, puss,' Biggles greeted it, full of bonhomie on such a beautiful day.

The cat paused in its ablutions and looked at Biggles.

'Hello human,' it responded, before turning its attention back to its grooming.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby tiffinata » 29 Apr 2018, 20:47

Biggles blinked.
Surely he must have imagined..... no, never mind. Perhaps he needed take one of those blue pills he had left over from Doc Lawton.
'....you cannot flout Nature with impunity. Treat Nature with respect, and she will tolerate you, even encourage you; but treat her with contempt, and your days are numbered.' Hits the Trail
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 29 Apr 2018, 20:55

The cat stalked away before Biggles had quite collected himself. He looked around to see if anyone else was in the garden, a ventriloquist for example.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby tiffinata » 29 Apr 2018, 20:59

He was alone.
'....you cannot flout Nature with impunity. Treat Nature with respect, and she will tolerate you, even encourage you; but treat her with contempt, and your days are numbered.' Hits the Trail
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 29 Apr 2018, 21:13

Biggles decided he must have nodded off for a moment in the sunshine and had an extraordinarily vivid dream. He'd sat long enough in the warmth. He would do some shopping. Socks were sufficiently prosaic, and maybe a spare set of sock suspenders. And toothpaste. That should put all thoughts of talking cats out of his head.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 29 Apr 2018, 22:06

With the help of a night at the Aero Club, these prosaic actions did indeed put a all thoughts of chatty felines out of his mind.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 29 Apr 2018, 22:10

Leaving the flat the next morning to collect a Sunday paper to read over croissants and coffee at his favourite cafe, Biggles nearly stood on the tail of a cat outside his front door. He blinked. Had it really said 'careful, human,' before it disappeared?
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 29 Apr 2018, 22:53

No, of course it didn't. He shook himself. It reminded him of the time they had all seen a huge rabbit in the Gardens during the war. He had thought that that has looked like Erich, which had been nonsense, of course. And him hearing a cat talk was nonsense too.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 29 Apr 2018, 23:18

Sat at an outside table with coffee at his elbow, Biggles found it hard to immerse himself in his paper. He was watching the animals go by whilst assuring himself that none of them were making any noise other than the sort associated with their species and breed.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 30 Apr 2018, 23:11

An item on a page featuring local events caught his eye. One of the local Amateur Dramatic Societies was putting on a production of 'Dr Doolittle.' He looked at a pigeon pecking at crumbs below his table. "Hello," he said, "Do you prefer cake or sandwich crumbs?"
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 30 Apr 2018, 23:36

The pigeon ignored him.

'Are you talking to that pigeon?' asked a small child standing nearby who Biggles hadn't noticed.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 30 Apr 2018, 23:42

"Not really, just wondering our loud," Biggles said, trying to convince himself that that was what he was doing.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 30 Apr 2018, 23:54

'My mummy says you shouldn't feed bread to birds. It upsets their tummys,' the child informed him. 'I had an upset tummy and....'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 30 Apr 2018, 23:58

"Eric, haven't I told you not to talk to strange men?"A woman came up and grabbing the child's arm, pulled him away from Biggles. The pigeon cooed.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 01 May 2018, 00:16

Biggles wondered why, if this had happened to Algy, he'd have walked away with a date for the night with Eric's mother, whereas he got called strange. He didn't want the date. He just wondered why these situations went differently for Algy.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 01 May 2018, 08:39

Was it the way Algy looked? Did Algy look trustworthy and he himself looked shifty? He sincerely hoped not.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 01 May 2018, 12:43

He wondered if the bread and cake crumbs the pigeons and sparrows ate did upset their digestive systems. He had presumed that birds were preprogrammed to make healthy choices, but maybe they were like children and would eat the nice tasting things regardless of the consequences.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 01 May 2018, 18:41

A cat walked up to his table. Biggles looked at it. Was it the same cat? It looked like it, but he couldn't be sure. He turned his attention to the pigeon.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 01 May 2018, 20:42

It decorated the pavement and flew away. The cat jumped up onto the cafe windowsill and surveyed the street with a lordly air.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 01 May 2018, 21:16

It licked it's paw and fixed it's green eyes on Biggles.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 01 May 2018, 21:48

Biggles mentally dared it to speak.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 01 May 2018, 21:51

It didn't. Biggles didn't know whether to be glad or disappointed.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 01 May 2018, 21:58

Biggles gathered up his papers and left. As he did so, he thought he heard a voice saying 'rude human' but when he turned around, the cat was gone.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 01 May 2018, 22:07

He didn't go out of the flat again until he went to work the next morning. He thought he saw a black and white cat under a bush as he walked through the gardens and he stopped to look at it.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 01 May 2018, 22:49

The cat met his eyes with an unwinking green gaze. Eventually, Biggles accepted the truth of the old adage 'you can't outstare a cat,' and moved on.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby HostileCacti » 02 May 2018, 08:22

'Staring is considered an hostile act, human.' He quickly turned but there was only a bush to look at. It needed pruning.
There's a difference between a bad man and a good man gone wrong, answered Biggles coldly, as he turned back into the hut.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 02 May 2018, 12:16

Biggles was now quite concerned. He didn't think he was losing his marbles but the alternative was hard to swallow. He considered the problem as he walked to work. The cat had only spoken to him, if indeed it had spoken, when he was alone. Therefore, his next step would be to make sure he didn't go anywhere alone so he would have a witness to the cat speaking.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby HostileCacti » 02 May 2018, 13:11

Later he told Bertie they needed to discuss his latest expenses. "Get some lunch sandwiches from the canteen and we'll have a chat in the gardens. Don't forget tea!!" As he waited for Bertie to bring provisions he wondered whether he should brief him in any way. He decided not to. Bertie might have a maiden aunt with a talking cat.
There's a difference between a bad man and a good man gone wrong, answered Biggles coldly, as he turned back into the hut.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 02 May 2018, 13:42

As soon as they sat down, one dog after another bounded up to say hello to Bertie, who produced dog treats for them all from his pocket. He knew all the dogs by name and had a friendly word for each of their owners. They got no work whatsoever done, and to Biggles's complete lack of surprise, the cat did not put in an appearance.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 02 May 2018, 13:44

As an experiment it was a failure. Biggles considered his next step. Unfortunately, there were a few black and white cats in the neighbourhood, all looking the same in a fleeting glance. He had to try and identify this one properly.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes
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