The Chatty Cat.

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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 21 May 2018, 12:33

Marmaduke strolled over to a sunny spot in front of the kennels and settled in it. He had a little dust bath to show he couldn't be rushed then yawned. 'Yes?' he answered the dogs.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 23 May 2018, 15:53

"We want to talk to you," Nipper barked. "We thought we should get to know you better."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 23 May 2018, 16:27

'No, I have standards,' Marmaduke replied, and waddled off.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 23 May 2018, 16:38

Maybe Seagull would have more chance of finding out what the cats were up to, they did sleep in the stables quite often.
Nipper volunteered to go and ask, as one of the stable lads often took him there in the afternoons.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 23 May 2018, 16:45

But Seagull was in the throes of pretend Colic and couldn't communicate without blowing his cover.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 23 May 2018, 16:48

Bertie, meanwhile, was worried sick as he drove down to Chedcombe with scant regard for the speed limit.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 23 May 2018, 17:08

At the bottom of the drive, housing in a hedge by the lodge gates was a mouse. No lover of the cats he had volunteered to bed on the lookout for Bertie. As soon as the matter was spotted a series of communication by relay would take place so the hounds would know in advance.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby kylie_koyote » 23 May 2018, 18:01

The stable hands thought it was a bit strange, how the animals were acting.
"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 23 May 2018, 18:08

They called the vet.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby kylie_koyote » 23 May 2018, 18:09

Who arrived about the same time as Bertie.
"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 23 May 2018, 18:12

Bertie headed straight for the stables. The hounds, warned by the watchful mouse, were on the alert.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 23 May 2018, 18:19

The hounds howled as soon as they heard Bertie in the yard. They howled and howled and howled.

'I don't know what's got into them today,' one of the stable hands remarked. 'Everything is behaving a bit strange, like.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 23 May 2018, 18:39

But Bertie was only lending half-an-ear to what he was being told. "They need a jolly good run," He opined. "That'll shake the fidgets out of 'em. See to it, while I go to old Seagull."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 23 May 2018, 22:04

Bertie went to the loose box where Seagull had been repeatedly lying down, rolling and then getting up again, as the mess in the deep straw showed, as Bertie arrived and looked over the half door, Seagull let out a particularly dreadful groan before standing up again.
The groom said, " been like this since this morning, settles down for a while and then starts up again, been flank-watching at times "
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 23 May 2018, 22:23

The howling of the hounds was replaced by the swearing of the stable boy. Bertie half turned, then was swamped by his dogs. They pushed him against the door to Seagull's loosebox and shut the outer door.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 23 May 2018, 23:26

"What the deuce......" Bertie's cries were cut off as his face was thoroughly licked by Nipper.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 23 May 2018, 23:30

Seagull made an amazing recovery, nuzzling Bertie's neck. The dogs surrounded Bertie protectively.

'What's happening?' Bertie demanded, dazed.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 23 May 2018, 23:54

The sudden sight of one of the hounds leaping at a cat who had squeezed into the loose box gave him an inkling of what might be happening.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 24 May 2018, 00:01

The cat sprang into Seagull's back, hissed at the hounds and Bertie, then sprang into the rafters where it proceeded to knock dust and small pieces of debris down onto the group below.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby kylie_koyote » 24 May 2018, 00:56

The dogs growled.
"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 24 May 2018, 00:58

Bertie looked up and got dust in his eyes.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 24 May 2018, 08:36

Both blinking furiously, Bertie and the groom got a halter for Seagull.
The hounds made way for them to walk Seagull out into the yard.
The Vet examined Seagull, whilst avoiding various dogs and cats.

If anything the cats appeared to have it in for the vet, even more than their current antipathy towards Bertie.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 24 May 2018, 08:39

The hounds, though, saw them off, but thry knew it was only a temporary reprieve.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 24 May 2018, 09:14

Having examined Seagull, the Vet declared the bout of colic to be over. She advised watching diet and exercise carefully, suggesting a gentle hack out in an hour or so.
She then asked Bertie if he had any idea why the cats at Chedcombe and in the local area had got so feisty the last few days. She had been scratched several times just the day before, and had just avoided a bite at the last farm she called at.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 24 May 2018, 09:50

"Funny you should say that," Bertie told her. "Come up to the house and have a cuppa. I've a jolly little tale to tell."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 24 May 2018, 09:56

Ok, I'll just check in with the surgery, and make sure there aren't any other emergencies - hopefully I'll have time to satisfy both our curiosities before I have to get back.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby kylie_koyote » 24 May 2018, 14:43

Seated at an old wooden table with mugs of tea in front of them, Bertie did a quick check to make sure none of the staff were within earshot.

"Have you ever ..." he hesitated, wondering if she would think he was crazy. He decided that she probably already thought that about him, so he went ahead with his question. "Have you ever had an animal, a cat specifically, talk to you? I mean really talk, using human words."
"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby StoneRoad » 24 May 2018, 15:27

"Why are you asking me ?" She countered with a smile.
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Fairblue » 24 May 2018, 18:11

Bertie frowned at her. "You're not playing the game, old gel. You're supposed to say "No,why, have you? Unless, of course, they have been talking to you."
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Re: The Chatty Cat.

Postby Kismet » 24 May 2018, 20:18

'Have they been talking to you?' the vet asked, with some interest. She was well aware that Bertie enjoyed a local reputation for eccentricity.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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