Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 27 Mar 2018, 20:27

Once more, Biggles was trying to give up smoking. He'd finished all the cigarettes in his case and made sure he didn't have a spare unopened pack. He'd tried having an unopened packet in his desk drawer before. That attempt at stopping smoking had lasted twenty minutes. This time he had cleared the cigarettes completely out of the flat, banned the others from smoking in the flat and bought some jelly babies to distract himself with. He'd currently finished the first packet and sent Ginger out to buy another half pound and he hadn't been off the evil weed for an hour.
On Ginger's return, Algy held an emergency meeting in his bedroom.
'its a long weekend. Biggles is going to be here for all of it. What are we going to do?'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 27 Mar 2018, 20:37

“I was thinking that I need to see my man of business,” Bertie declared.
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 27 Mar 2018, 20:44

'You're a rat deserting the sinking ship,' Ginger accused.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 27 Mar 2018, 20:47

“I prefer to call it self-preservation, old boy,” Bertie declared, polishing his eyeglass, “but you can come with me if you want to. Got a rabbit problem. Dawson would be glad of some help getting rid of the blighters.”
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 27 Mar 2018, 20:55

'I promised Biggles I'd stay around to support him,' Ginger said gloomily. 'I thought he was talking generalities, not about giving up smoking.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 27 Mar 2018, 22:02

“Good luck with that,” Algy declared, stuffing his hands in his trouser pockets. “I’m strongly tempted to make a dash into Wales.”
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 27 Mar 2018, 22:16

'Are your parents away? And your sisters? And everyone else else you usually avoid?' Ginger asked. 'Because if they are, Biggles will probably want to go with you.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 27 Mar 2018, 22:37

Algy thought about that. “Well, if he does, I’ll find it a lot easier to avoid him. The Towers is a lot bigger than the flat.”
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 27 Mar 2018, 22:42

Biggles banged on the bedroom door. 'If you're smoking, can I have a drag, please?'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 27 Mar 2018, 22:52

“No!” three voices cried in unison.
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 27 Mar 2018, 23:02

'C'mon,' wheedled Biggles, 'not a whole cigarette. Just one tiny weenie incie little drag.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 28 Mar 2018, 00:24

“No,” they chorused again. “Have some backbone” Algy followed on.
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 28 Mar 2018, 00:29

'I've got back bone,' Biggles retorted, 'but I'm out of jelly babies again. Will you get some more, Ginger?'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 28 Mar 2018, 00:31

Ginger rolled his eyes. “I’d better go,” he told the others. “Maybe we should just glue his lips together instead.”
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 28 Mar 2018, 00:36

'No,' Algy announced. 'Look at you. You're shaking from all that sugar. You need to find another way of occupying your hands, like cat's cradle.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 28 Mar 2018, 00:39

“Why don’t you take up knitting? Fishermen n did that to while away the time and they produced some very nice sweaters.”
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 28 Mar 2018, 00:46

Biggles reluctantly agreed that knitting might be a distraction. Ginger was sent to buy needles and wool.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 28 Mar 2018, 00:50

He’d always fancied a fisherman’s sweater so after consultation with the lady in the shop he bought navy wool, three different sizes of needles and a pattern for his size. As an afterthought he added a bag to put the wool in so it wouldn’t get dirty.
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 28 Mar 2018, 00:55

It took Biggles three hours and four different websites before he managed to cast on. Tempers were more frayed than the wool at this point.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 28 Mar 2018, 01:03

“You should start with something simple, like a potholder,” Algy informed him.
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby kylie_koyote » 28 Mar 2018, 02:05

Biggles agreed after attempting something a bit more complicated and failing miserably.
"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 28 Mar 2018, 10:37

“Why did you get me a jumper pattern?” He complainec to Ginger as he carefully took apart his earlier efforts.
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 28 Mar 2018, 11:05

'I wanted a jumper,' Ginger said simply. 'The woman in the shop said this was a straightforward pattern. She said it only took her a couple of days to knit jumpers like this whilst watching TV.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby kylie_koyote » 28 Mar 2018, 11:09

Biggles looked helplessly at the tangle of yarn and needles in his lap.

"Right, find me another YouTube tutorial," he sighed.
"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 28 Mar 2018, 11:13

Algy did. At least Biggles wasn’t smoking, but it was a toss up which was the more trying for the others; Biggles grumpy because he wasn’t smoking or Biggles getting more and more exasperated by his failure to get to grips with knitting.
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 28 Mar 2018, 11:17

'Nanny used to keep her wool in an old teapot with no lid,' Bertie remarked, polishing his eyeglass industriously. 'The wool used to be pulled from the spout.'

Biggles fetched the teapot, removed the lid and put his wool into it. That would help.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby kylie_koyote » 28 Mar 2018, 11:18

After several false starts, and much swearing, Biggles had at last managed to cast on and then knit a whole row. He looked at the opposite needle with great satisfaction.

"How's that?" he asked proudly.

"How's what?" Ginger replied blankly, blinking at the knitting needle.
"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 28 Mar 2018, 11:50

'Why don't you knit a blanket out of little squares,' Algy suggested, thinking they could easily ditch it next time they went somewhere.
Biggles thought this an excellent idea. He thought it was such a good idea that they should all join in. Ginger was sent back to the shop.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Fairblue » 28 Mar 2018, 13:44

Bertie shuffled towards the door. “Got to go, old chap. Got a problem at the old place with the sewage. Can’t leave that to take are of itself.”
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Re: Biggles Tries to Give up Smoking (Again)

Postby Kismet » 28 Mar 2018, 14:28

'I'll come and help,' Algy and Biggles said simultaneously.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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