Biggles and the Were-Koala

Members writing in the style and using the characters of W.E.J. (Fan Fiction)

Biggles and the Were-Koala

Postby kylie_koyote » 01 Oct 2018, 11:53

Yay! It’s October! Happy Halloween, everyone! This story started as a joke on the "Meanwhile in Australia" thread, but I had a plot bunny hopped by and … well... here is this year’s seasonal offering. It's a bit more ridiculous and silly than some of my recent stuff, so I really hope you find it as funny as I do. Thank you very much for reading. :hellochap:



Part 1

The day following their adventures in Biggles in the Orient, the squadron (minus Henry and Angus, who were still in hospital) lounged about their mess in a rather desultory fashion, for the afternoon heat was intense. Taffy had limped in, having obtained a pair of crutches from somewhere, and Biggles had a dressing on his arm, but otherwise they were remarkably unscathed from their wild week.

The Air Commodore had visited them earlier that morning, to tell them they could expect to return to Rawlham in a few days, as soon as transportation could be arranged, and in the meantime, they were to rest and recuperate. Nobody raised any objection to this. On the contrary, they were all delighted to have a bit of free time.

Shortly after lunch, they all looked up as the door swung open breezily and Johnny Crisp sauntered in. “What cheer, chaps,” he greeted them, tossing his hat onto a side table.

“Hullo, Johnny,” chorused a half dozen rather drowsy voices, but no one rose or moved in the slightest. It was too hot.

Johnny flopped into an empty chair and kicked his feet up onto an end table. “Hasn’t anybody got any energy?” he asked plaintively.

“No,” grunted Algy, without opening his eyes, from where he lounged on a settee with his feet dangling over the arm.

“I might do, if I hadn’t just lost a pint or two of the red stuff,” Taffy said, gesturing weakly at his bandaged leg.

“No, you wouldn’t, you lazy bastard,” Ferocity laughed, reaching over and ruffling Taffy’s hair. “You can’t blame everything on that scratch.”

“What about you, Biggles?” Johnny asked hopefully. “You’re practically famous for having boundless energy. Surely you can’t be lying about doing nothing.”

Biggles yawned and stretched, catlike. “I’ve just saved the world – not to mention, I’ve had a knife in my arm. Give me a day.”

Johnny grinned. “What if I said I had news?”

Biggles cocked an eyebrow at him. (That was about as much energy as he was willing to expend.) “What sort of news?”

“Interesting news.”

Biggles still declined to move. “Well, that’s what sort of makes it news, now, isn’t it? If it weren’t interesting, it …”

Algy cut him off before he could pontificate at length on the definition of news. “All right, Johnny,” he said, swinging his legs to the floor and struggling half-heartedly into a sitting position. “Out with it.”

“My dhobi-wallah told me this morning that his sister’s friend’s cousin…”

“Hang on,” Biggles broke in. “His sister’s… friend’s… cousin? That’s quite a gossip chain you’ve got there. How true is this nonsense you’re about to spew?”

Johnny looked pained. “If you’re going to be snippy, I shan’t tell you,” he grumbled.

Biggles laughed. “Okay, okay. Go ahead. But I’ll take any tale you’re about to tell with a gigantic grain of salt, if you don’t mind.”

Ahem.” Johnny cleared his throat before beginning his tale.

"For goodness sake stop that Yankee drawl, or you'll have us all doing it before you've finished."
"OK baby - sorry - I mean, righto."
"That's better."
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